Almost (cut my hair) ... it happened just the other day...

Yeah, well...don't ask me about the title.  Just something that popped into my head as I was thinking about my River Trip first weeks in July '13.  Ten days of magic...some of it'll be black magic, some of it white I'm sure...but that's just life, right?  Ying and Yang.  Things we like a little, peppered with things we really hate, add a dash of what we really REALLY love.

Would I have it any other way...my life?  What's the point of going there? "It is what it is", they keep telling me.  And you know, That's alright, moma...that's alright with me.

Long as I get to breathe some fresh mountain air SOMETIMES,... See my kids SOMETIMES... be with my Julie SOMETIMES.  It's enough.  Dyanu.

Really excited to be there though.  My first extended stay in awhile.  Fish a little, walk alot. See folks having fun along the Metolius.  Let all the fires be camp fire, please.

The river calls, but

I hear the river call me from so very far away.  Bubbling from its spring just up stream and around the bend from the cabin I so often picture in my minds eye.  It's still beautiful there.  Still timelessly flowing threw rock creek bed in its slow and deliberate search for the ocean.

I want to answer.  I want to be there, walking along your shore... Hearing the children play, watching the Osprey and the Eagles hunt...  Smelling the sun bake the pine needles till they release their magic.

I'm coming... Just as soon as the world releases its grip on me.  Then I'll be in your embrace, and you in mine.  Wait for me.  I know you will.

Do we always sow what we...

Do we always reap what we so?  A question most poised by people who believe "things always happen for a reason".

I've come to believe in my current years in the randomness of all things.  And I'm totally comforted by that.  I've so often been disappointed by the other... Waiting to reap something good from all I sow and then suffer through disappointment when the crop fails.  " oh it's me...it HAS to be me" if and when lemons come from strawberry seeds.

It's not me... It's just the oh so comforting randomness of the universe.

What then when some thing GOOD happens at exactly the right moment?  No more puzzling to a stoic then something BAD happening at the WRONG moment.

The stoic doesn't so much long for things to be better as he/she acknowledges : could be worse.  And it could ALWAYS be worse...  Maybe become worse...probly WILL become worse.... 

Or not.  THAT occasional reader is the randomness of the universe(s).  It's more than ok...it's an unchangeable reality worth celebrating.  Where is the joy in that?  Lets talk about it over a glass of chilled White Wine

It's a crying shame...

Have you ever (and don't lie now) broken into tears for no reason that you can think of?  Just one minute you you're fine..doing whatever you may... the next you're sobbing almost uncontrollably?

Huh...  what'd ya think causes that?

I mean, it might be a song...but the song, I mean...what's the connection?  Oh sometimes it's obvious.  But if you're like this person I know (not ME ya understand) sometimes there seems to be no thread you can grasp.

It's powerful, though.  Grips you and shakes you and its sooooo very intense.   But you never want that feeling to stop.  That sweeping feeling that comes from ...where?  Nowhere?  Somewhere?  Everywhere?

Crush me and restore me.  Make me cry.  Make me whole again.  Repeat.  Forever....


"And every time he appears it comes as a surprise
He thinks he's clever as foxfire
Dancin' on a distant rise
Then when I catch that devil, ooh...
There's gonna be a slow-down; There's gonna be a mighty slow-down
He's not so clever as foxfire, dancing on the distant rise"