Monday, September 4, 2017


Some know I've enjoyed Steely Dan for many years.  Not because I understand all they say, but because they clearly have had a talent for understanding what a popular message through tune can mean thru the generations.

Just the other day, Walter Becker, co-Founder, guitarist and vocalist for this band passed away at 67...   an age on which I have a firm  grasp.  All the music they've made will stay with me, though there will never REALLY be any more of it.  And so... this one perhaps is the most popular (in songs played) of their work.  I list it here, purely for fun and to perturb at least one whom I know not to be a fan.   I think the band won't mind.


Your everlasting summer 
You can see it fading fast
So you grab a piece of something
That you think is gonna last
You wouldn't know a diamond
If you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious
I can't understand

Are you reelin' in the years
Stowin' away the time
Are you gatherin' up the tears
Have you had enough of mine

You been tellin' me you're a genius
Since you were seventeen
In all the time I've known you
I still don't know what you mean
The weekend at the college
Didn't turn out like you planned
The things that pass for knowledge
I can't understand


I spend a lot of money
And I spent a lot of time
The trip we made in Hollywood
Is etched upon my mind
After all the things we've done and seen
You find another man
The things you think are useless
I can't understand 

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Authentic Me; Authentic You

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to live an ‘authentic life’. Books have been written, classes taught,authority claimed... and yet it’s elusive, unless of course you speak the language of authenticity. Yeah that’s right… authentic speak;it's a 'thing'. It's language widely spoken and globally misunderstood. Oh sure, we nod our heads and pretend the speaker is so wise…’I mean listen to what he/she just said? Didn’t that just blow your mind?’

Well I’m not getting it. Why? Because I like the on/off;the black/white; the right/wrong of life. It’s because of that I think that I just don’t get authentic speak. I like my life in scientific terms... there are truths we know, truths we haven’t uncovered. answers too; even truths we haven’t noticed as unknown yet. But there IS an answer to everything under the sun. Not knowing what the answer (or even the question) isn’t proof that there isn’t one correct answer for any given universe.

Don’t get me wrong; I LIKE the ‘touchy/feely’ world. But I recognize it’s not actually authentic. Hell it isn’t even real. It does feel good tho.

So. How to live authentically in a world that is 80%+ theory and 10%- validated? Step by step. Inch by inch. Day by day. Do what feels good, avoid what feels wrong. Endeavor not to harm others and ask for forgiveness unashamedly if/when you do. And smile. Smile every chance you get. You are the lucky one.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Giant Step II

"Remember the feeling as a child
When you woke up and morning smiled
It's time its time, its time you felt like that again"

Spring.  Time for renewal.  Just set your load down for a second and breath deeply out and in a few times.
There.  That didn't hurt, right?

The Earth renews itself each new Spring, doesn't it?  Why shouldn't we?  Oh, we should...  we should, definitely.

Whether we go to our physical happy place or close our eyes and go there in our mind, there IS a pace for renewal.  Even the most unfortunate of us has a moment (or many) that they can reflect on that made them feel "I'm glad to be alive!".  

Go. Go there.  Go there now.  Go there often.  For who's to stop you?

Saturday, March 11, 2017

I know, I know. It's serious....

"Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's really serious"

The Smith's.  Yeah I never really listened to 'em.  A friend did.  And just now I found this clip in my ringtones.   How did I get there?  Search me.  No really, go ahead and search me.  Not a body cavity tho, mind ya.  Just a pat down.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Thoughts on "Getting it"

So it's taken a while to get there but I'm finally ready to admit that I'm the only one who "gets it".

And what does that mean, "Getting it"?  Pretty much means everything.  It means, even if you and I agree it's only be cause you agree with me that you MIGHT be getting it, temporarily.  But you don't really get it, cuz only I do.

Now I don't mean that in a harsh way; somethings are just a matter of fact.  Like you're probly thinking right now: "Wrong.  He doesn't get it" when actually, I kinda DO..  But you see I KNOW you're mistaken because I have too many personal examples of this that don't leave room from me to be mistaken.

Don't think I'm full of myself or conceited; it's not like that.  I'm fully prepared to admit what a curse it is to be the only one who "gets it".  It's lonely, but I'm learning to live with it; the first step to mental health is to admit what you know about yourself as true. that right?

You and I will look at each other now and then, with a knowing glance or a nod, now that you know what I know.  Just smile back.  We'll get as close to understanding each other as we can and not worry that we can't really understand each other... not in the same space and time.  Cuz I "get it" and you don't.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Stumbling' into the Heart of Saturday Night

High School. Fifteen to 17 years old. Before the internet, Marin County. What's important? Well grades, kinda...but not all that much. Cuz, I mean, you know everything you need to know, even though maybe you haven't met the one you need to meet.

The "Beat" thing is fading, already in the rear view mirror; the 'Love Generation' is just up ahead. You haven't maybe discovered the Fillmore and the Avalon Ballroom yet, but soon you will.

Cars are important, even if maybe you don't have one yet. But you KNOW someone who'll let you ride in theirs, a cool one..."I got shot gun...!".

So now it's Saturday Night. You'll start on 4th Street, doing the whole post-American Graffiti thing. For me, anyway, this brings it all back. Saturday night.…/lookingfortheheartofsaturdaynight…

Saturday, June 6, 2015

"Who's in control here?" Thoughts triggered by Film: Ex Machina

"The World exists for the pleasure and experimentation of Mankind and ALL manners of behavior may be perpetrated upon everything that is not human by the superior force."  

Is this correct?  (And am I doing a Movie Review now?)

What exactly may give that narrative strength should be challenged;  from where such a directive comes should be examined:
Is it… Reason, Philosophy?
Is it… Religion?

Reason is interesting as a justification for human ultimate superiority over all other objects' rights…  Is it that humans are capable of observably complex thought, and other forms of existence have less observable complex thought; one might suppose, this forms the best information we have for presupposing superiority.  There are MAJOR implications for this line of thinking as it applies to artificial forms of intelligence and, if we allow ourselves to go there, leakage into how we relate to other life forms including pets, communal living wild animals right on ‘down the chain’ of observable consciousness.  Perhaps the power extends even over humans some of us may deem of ‘lower intelligence’.

Religion is, a go-to reference for how to live a moral life for much of mankind.  Yet it offers a less compelling basis for determining life superiority than Reason does.  Ask yourself from whence did we derive Religion?  From God? Are there really such a thing as 'God-given rights'?  What sort of God would bestow such rights?  More questions than answers are down this path and a thinking being is no longer willing (at lest not REAL thinkers) of accepting all on Faith.

In Ex Machina man creates what is the first of what we can call ‘artificial intelligence’, the ability to have adaptive cogitative thought.  Of course, we have any observations of lower life forms having THIS sort of intellect, for even viruses and bacteria adapt and all living tissue seems to observably evolve, adapting to change in conditions.

But in watching the film one can see many idea triggers… About what constitutes life, intelligence, a soul, manhood, womanhood.

The young male star is thrust into thought experiments to determine just one point:  Does this new ‘thing’, this machine, think and feel adaptively, without new written coding?

What of a 'creator' who mistreats a 'machine'?  Is it his to do with as he will and without consequence?

When a geeky boy who hasn’t had many romantic encounters finds himself having feelings for the machine in this tale, and the machine APPEARS to have feelings for him, what is REALLY going on?  Does putting on hair and clothing make one a woman?  Does the appearance of feelings make a machine a 'human'?  Is there a distinction between any thinking (living) thing and mankind as we know it give cause for one to have power over the other?  When does life begin?  What rights do we have over the potential for life, in whatever form that comes?  Who REALLY is superior and why?  Or is it even important to make the distinction?

Oh, Ex Machina is a mind fucker, if it can lead us down this path and then turn us loose to answer these questions however we will.

Bend in the River

Bend in the River
Metolius River very near its Source - Fall 2005