Saturday, March 11, 2017

I know, I know. It's serious....

"Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's really serious"

The Smith's.  Yeah I never really listened to 'em.  A friend did.  And just now I found this clip in my ringtones.   How did I get there?  Search me.   No really, go ahead and search me.  Not body cavity tho, mind ya.  Just a pat down.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Thoughts on "Getting it"

So it's taken a while to get there but I'm finally ready to admit that I'm the only one who "gets it". 

And what does that mean, "Getting it"?  Pretty much means everything.  It means, even if you and I agree it's only be cause you agree with me that you MIGHT be getting it, temporarily.  But you don't really get it, cuz only I do.

Now I don't mean that in a harsh way; somethings are just a matter of fact.  Like you're probly thinking right now: "Wrong.  He doesn't get it.  I do".  But you see I KNOW you're mistaken because I have too many personal examples of this that don't leave room from me to be mistaken.

But don't think I'm full of myself or conceited.  It's not like that.  I'm fully prepared to admit what a curse it is to be the only one who "gets it".  It's lonely, but I'm learning to live with it; the first step to mental health is to admit what you know about yourself as true.

You and I will look at each other now and then, with a knowing glance or a nod, now that you know what I know.  Just smile back.  We'll get as close to understanding each other as we can and not worry that we can't really understand each other... not in the same space and time.  Cuz I "get it" and you don't.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Stumbling' into the Heart of Saturday Night

High School. Fifteen to 17 years old. Before the internet, Marin County. What's important? Well grades, kinda...but not all that much. Cuz, I mean, you know everything you need to know, even though maybe you haven't met the one you need to meet.

The "Beat" thing is fading, already in the rear view mirror; the 'Love Generation' is just up ahead. You haven't maybe discovered the Fillmore and the Avalon Ballroom yet, but soon you will.

Cars are important, even if maybe you don't have one yet. But you KNOW someone who'll let you ride in theirs, a cool one..."I got shot gun...!".

So now it's Saturday Night. You'll start on 4th Street, doing the whole post-American Graffiti thing. For me, anyway, this brings it all back. Saturday night.…/lookingfortheheartofsaturdaynight…

Saturday, June 6, 2015

"Who's in control here?" Thoughts triggered by Film: Ex Machina

"The World exists for the pleasure and experimentation of Mankind and ALL manners of behavior may be perpetrated upon everything that is not human by the superior force."  

Is this correct?  (And am I doing a Movie Review now?)

What exactly may give that narrative strength should be challenged;  from where such a directive comes should be examined:
Is it… Reason, Philosophy?
Is it… Religion?

Reason is interesting as a justification for human ultimate superiority over all other objects' rights…  Is it that humans are capable of observably complex thought, and other forms of existence have less observable complex thought; one might suppose, this forms the best information we have for presupposing superiority.  There are MAJOR implications for this line of thinking as it applies to artificial forms of intelligence and, if we allow ourselves to go there, leakage into how we relate to other life forms including pets, communal living wild animals right on ‘down the chain’ of observable consciousness.  Perhaps the power extends even over humans some of us may deem of ‘lower intelligence’.

Religion is, a go-to reference for how to live a moral life for much of mankind.  Yet it offers a less compelling basis for determining life superiority than Reason does.  Ask yourself from whence did we derive Religion?  From God? Are there really such a thing as 'God-given rights'?  What sort of God would bestow such rights?  More questions than answers are down this path and a thinking being is no longer willing (at lest not REAL thinkers) of accepting all on Faith.

In Ex Machina man creates what is the first of what we can call ‘artificial intelligence’, the ability to have adaptive cogitative thought.  Of course, we have any observations of lower life forms having THIS sort of intellect, for even viruses and bacteria adapt and all living tissue seems to observably evolve, adapting to change in conditions.

But in watching the film one can see many idea triggers… About what constitutes life, intelligence, a soul, manhood, womanhood.

The young male star is thrust into thought experiments to determine just one point:  Does this new ‘thing’, this machine, think and feel adaptively, without new written coding?

What of a 'creator' who mistreats a 'machine'?  Is it his to do with as he will and without consequence?

When a geeky boy who hasn’t had many romantic encounters finds himself having feelings for the machine in this tale, and the machine APPEARS to have feelings for him, what is REALLY going on?  Does putting on hair and clothing make one a woman?  Does the appearance of feelings make a machine a 'human'?  Is there a distinction between any thinking (living) thing and mankind as we know it give cause for one to have power over the other?  When does life begin?  What rights do we have over the potential for life, in whatever form that comes?  Who REALLY is superior and why?  Or is it even important to make the distinction?

Oh, Ex Machina is a mind fucker, if it can lead us down this path and then turn us loose to answer these questions however we will.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Why is this thing like this and not like xxx?

Ever think about how we look, physically, influences who we become?  How we lead our lives?  The mates we select (or that selected us)?  The trouble we got in as a child?  As an adult? 

I don't even know where I'm going with this thought... It just sort of popped into my mind as I watched people come and go from the bench at the Camp Sherman Store, sometimes know as the center of the universe.  And the thought occurred as I saw people walk by across the river right now as I watched from the deck...  I thought "who in the crowd of maybe 15 people going by would I even talk to?  Which is interesting to me..and why?

I don't see how I or anyone else can have a strong answer to those questions from a casual gaze, but it's one of a 1,000 like questions I ask my wife all the time... and usually get the same response:  "Oh, I don't know...".  Well I don't know either but I find my thoughts drifting to such a time waster just to see where it takes me.  I have the time so what the heck.

We have absolutely NO real control over how we look.  Or do we?  I mean, we can CHANGE how we look, some.  We can gain or lose weight, change hair color, even surgically alter our selves and I presume we'd get a different result, so to speak... a different US.

A book (maybe many) has been written regarding how changing our perception of ourselves, our self-view, changes how we behave.  It's an old observation and I'm revisiting it as my mind drifts.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

..on Doing Adult Things

Really?  I'm going to be a grandfather?  How'd that happen?

Ok, maybe don't answer that.  But I'd have to say once you get that news it's hard to think of much else.  Daytime, night time and any in-between-time.

I'm going to have a grand-daughter (or at least 80% chance...[Update 90%+ Chance])... That's big, huh?

I remember when my own 1st child was born.  I remember when the Dr. said "You have a baby girl" and how that made me feel.  There are not words to describe the joy.

Three years later, when a different Dr. said "You have a baby boy" I imagine I felt as if my life was surely beyond twice blessed.

Watching children grow and do 'adult things'...  well, that is a nice thing to be sure.

And if I didn't find myself at this point in MY life (our lives) I could still feel just as happy, but different.  Every change leaves a mark, indelible.

But I'm happy for my kids.  Both have brought me such joy, individually and collectively, as they do 'adult things';  each on their own journey, intersecting with each other's lives and mind when it happens.

Special note to a Mother-to-Be:  "Thank you for loving my son."

Falling Forward

"I've been living on wishes, living on wishes all my life.
And I wish I could make one
To make everything in your world right.

I'm falling forward while you wait behind.
Lost for your reasons and missing your time.

And I'm only an hour, not even an hour away.
But you're keeping your distance;
We're more than a million miles apart these days.

And suddenly I'm the villain of the piece...
You're lying awake, wondering how I sleep.

And I'm..... Wishing for you
....wishing for you.... "

Bend in the River

Bend in the River
Metolius River very near its Source - Fall 2005